It’s been a pretty good year for cinema, with no signs of it slowing down with the Dark Knight Rises on its way – I don’t normally go to the cinema a lot due to horrendously inflated prices & the fact I have to be in close vicinity of the general public. But, some films are just too good to miss (see: Avengers Assemble, seen three times in all. Joss Whedon is a god) so I tend to think its worth putting up with annoying children and giggling teenagers.
Sometimes, I’m wrong. See below for the best way to keep from annoying other cinema goers:
1. Choose your seating accordingly
If you know you constantly need to wee, please don’t sit in the middle of a row. No matter how polite you are, five times in a two hour movie is daft. Drink less or get an aisle seat.
2. Use your brain
Linked in with number 1, if the cinema is empty apart from a couple sat in the middle of the cinema, please don’t go and sit directly behind them. It’s annoying and just down right stupid. I don’t care if it’s not your assigned seat, it’s 11am on Sunday, it’s not going to be a busy showing. Move.
3. If you’re going to talk, do it wisely
I get some people don’t know every last detail about the film they’re watching. Whether it’s because you haven’t seen the other films in the series (which is odd) or if you’ve missed something while you were avoiding the orange Starburst in your sweetie bag, the odd whisper to your friend/parent/partner is fine. Having a full blown conversation is not. Especially when you confuse DC & Marvel.
4. Control your children
Kids love the cinema just as much as adults, but as a parent, please check the film is OK for your little ones to see. Ratings mean nothing (I mean, how the Dark Knight wasn’t at least is 15 is just daft coughbackhanderscough), and your child getting bored because they can’t follow the story, or that they’re just too young to be in the cinema will just annoy everyone else. Oh, & I get kids feet are at a perfect level to kick the chair in front, but PLEASE, stop them. I will turn round and give you a dirty look, and then say something to your child if it doesn’t stop due to your lack of parenting.
5. Boobies, willies hahahaha
Teenagers are the bane of any cinema goer, or cinema employees life. They make mess, are loud and just don’t care that other people have paid £8+ to see this film because mummy & daddy have given them pocket money & are waiting to pick them up after the film has finished. An advert for perfume with a lady on a bed, draped in a silk sheet is no need for embarrassment. You do not need to laugh nervously, as no one cares that you haven’t hit puberty yet.
6. At least think you’ll enjoy the film you’ve paid to see
I find that, with horror movies especially, people who go either love horror movies (me), get easily scared by them but go because their friends/partner want to go, or are kids amazed that a horror film has a 12 rating. If you’re going in to that film thinking you’re going to laugh all the way through & spoil the atmosphere for everyone else, bog off.
7. Don’t walk out of the screen discussing every last plot detail
I’ve literally had to walk in to the cinema before holding my hands over my ears & saying “LALALALALALA” to stop from hearing people stood outside the entrance doors, telling anyone who’ll listen that Bruce Willis is dead in the The Sixth Sense (example). Don’t you realise people are going to see the film you just have, & you’d be mighty pissed off if someone had spoilt it for you?
So there we go, another general public hating post. But don’t worry, I have many more to come.
A hopeful graduate's Blog 